Pregnant stripper...not hot.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
