Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i came on her dog
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
