I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
