Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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