I wish I only lived at night.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
