A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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