she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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