i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
