Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
