Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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