After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
this is an emotional support booty call
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
