i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
please come you make the beer taste better
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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