he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
