gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize