You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
