Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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