It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
