Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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