I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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