She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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