But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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