New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize