Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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