Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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