There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
