What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
