I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
