If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize