Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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