And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she looked like the before picture.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
