i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
