Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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