You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
