like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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