Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
