Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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