Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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