he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
