Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
