its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
