the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
