i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
