So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
