As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize