Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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