You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
