OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
