After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
