This girl is more easily done than said...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
