fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
