do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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