i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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