I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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