tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize