I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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