Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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