During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
