I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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