Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Are my feet made of real feet?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Randomize
