Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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