i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
