I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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