I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
