We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
