Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Is it penis luge time yet?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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