Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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